Reconnecting with rest

By Steven Langer, CEO and Co-founder of Well By Design, Keynote Speaker at Elevate Your Mind, and Elevate Your Mind Post Conference Workshop presenter 

We’ve heard it all before: “Get more sleep.”

We nod, we agree, and we mean it—until the next late-night scroll or the next early morning email. Sleep is essential, yes, but this isn’t another call for eight uninterrupted hours. This is something different. This is about rest—not just shutting our eyes but opening ourselves to what brings us back to life.

Because rest isn’t just sleep. It’s how we come home to ourselves in the middle of the chaos.

Rest isn’t passive

Let’s start here: rest is not a synonym for doing nothing. It’s not laziness or indulgence, and it’s certainly not a luxury item to be earned after we’ve finished the never-ending to-do list.

Rest, in its most life-giving form, is intentional. It’s about renewal. It’s the dog walk that clears your mind. The garden that doesn’t care about your deadlines. The canoe paddle or weekend fishing trip where you don’t catch much—but you catch your breath. It’s that one activity where your mind stops racing and your shoulders drop, even if just for a moment.

For me, rest looks like walking my dog in the off-leash park. There’s something about watching him dart through the woods, his entire body wrapped in joy, that snaps me out of my own mental clutter. I stop scrolling. I start noticing. The air. The rhythm of my footsteps. The way the trees look like they’ve seen it all and stayed standing anyway.

It’s not sleep. But I walk away feeling restored.

The hidden cost of not resting

We don’t talk enough about what happens when we don’t rest—not just don’t sleep, but don’t create those small pauses that bring us back to baseline.

The stress hormone cortisol doesn’t just rise when we’re in crisis—it lingers. It builds. And without intentional interruptions, it stays high, quietly shifting our inner settings. Over time, what used to be our “emergency mode” becomes our new normal. We normalize anxiety. We adapt to exhaustion. We tell ourselves to just “get through this week,” but the weeks stack up.

And then we wonder why we’re snappier at work. Why we can’t remember things. Why we feel foggy even after a decent night’s sleep.

Research shows that chronic stress without recovery time doesn’t just affect mood—it impairs cognition and lowers productivity. According to the Harvard Business Review, employees under chronic stress are up to 70% less productive than their well-rested peers (Cross, 2021). So, pushing through doesn’t actually get more done. It just gets more done poorly.

The irony? We often skip rest because we think we can’t afford the time. But it’s the very thing that would allow us to return more focused, capable, and grounded.

Why so many of us feel guilty resting

In a 2023 survey, over 53% of people admitted they don’t take time to rest or recover—not because they don’t need it, but because they feel guilty (SEEK, 2023). Guilty for not being productive. Guilty for resting while others are hustling. Guilty for stepping away, even when they’re barely holding it together.

Where did we learn this? That self-worth is measured in output? That stillness is selfish? That burnout is just the price of success?

Somewhere along the way, we confused busyness with value. And yet, when we talk to people who are deeply wise or profoundly content, it’s not frantic effort they describe—it’s rhythm. It’s the ability to pull back before they’re empty. It’s recognizing that running on fumes is not a badge of honour.

There’s a proverb I come back to often: “Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to dig your well.”

In other words, don’t wait until you’re burned out, depleted, or disconnected to start caring for yourself. Start now. Build habits that restore you before you desperately need restoring.

Rest is a hormonal reset, too

This isn’t just poetic—it’s physiological. When we rest in intentional, life-giving ways, we reset the very chemistry of our brains.

Here’s how it works:

• Dopamine: This is your brain’s “reward” hormone. It spikes when we achieve something or experience pleasure—like finishing a creative project, checking off a meaningful task, or doing something just for fun. Intentional rest activates dopamine when it includes novelty, joy, or a sense of progress (even something as simple as reorganizing a shelf or trying a new recipe).
• Serotonin: Often associated with mood and well-being, serotonin levels are boosted through sunshine, movement, and mindfulness. A walk outside, even for ten minutes, can elevate mood and stabilize emotions (CAMH, 2022).
• Oxytocin: Sometimes called the “love hormone,” oxytocin increases during meaningful social connections. Rest that involves being with someone who sees you—whether that’s a spouse, a friend, or a dog—can flood the brain with oxytocin and reduce feelings of stress and isolation.
• Endorphins: These are your body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators. Laughing, exercising, dancing, listening to music—all these can generate endorphins and create a state of deep internal rest and ease.

Intentional rest isn’t about withdrawal—it’s about reconnection. To self. To others. To what makes life feel whole again.

Rest as resistance

In a world that constantly tells us to do more, go faster, and stay busy, choosing to rest is a form of resistance.

It’s saying no to a culture that wants us constantly accessible, responsive, and productive. It’s a reclaiming of boundaries. A quiet declaration that our value isn’t defined by how many emails we answered or how late we stayed up working.

Rest isn’t weakness. It’s strength—strength to show up with clarity, to lead with compassion, and to live with intention.

Making space for rest before it’s too late

The goal here isn’t to overhaul your entire schedule or book a month-long retreat (though if you can, that’s great too). It’s about carving out small, consistent moments of joy and renewal that keep your emotional battery from hitting zero.

Try this:

• Identify one thing that brings you energy. Not just something you enjoy, but something that leaves you feeling better afterward. It could be a short walk, listening to a favorite podcast, painting, calling a friend, or playing music.
• Block 20 minutes for it this week. Literally put it in your calendar like a meeting. Protect it like you would a doctor’s appointment.
• Notice how you feel after. Not just physically—but mentally. Do you feel more present? More yourself?

Start there. Then keep building.

What rest looks like in a complex world

The truth is, life isn’t getting simpler. The demands are real, the roles we hold are many, and there are seasons where even thinking about rest feels like one more item on the list.

But that’s exactly why it matters.

When you make time for what grounds you—before the stress escalates—you give yourself a fighting chance to stay well. Not perfect. Not serene. But steady enough to keep going without unraveling.

I often tell the leaders I work with: your job isn’t to avoid stress. It’s to build a foundation strong enough to carry it.

And rest—real, restorative, joyful rest—is part of that foundation.

Final thoughts: Reconnecting with rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline

Let’s be honest: we don’t need more hustle. We need more humanity. More moments that make us feel alive, not just useful. More intentional pauses that let us reset before we’re running on empty.

So, here’s the question I’ll leave you with: What’s one thing you could do this week—not because it’s productive, but because it brings you back to yourself?

Don’t wait until you’re thirsty. Start digging your well now.

Because reconnecting with rest might be the most productive thing you do all week.

Read more of Steven Langer’s insights at wellbydesign.ca.

---

---

References

• Cross, R. (2021). Beyond Burned Out. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2021/02/beyond-burned-out
• SEEK. (2023). How to take a “me” day and not feel guilty. Retrieved from https://www.seek.com.au/career-advice/article/how-to-take-a-productive-mental-health-day-and-not-feel-guilty
• Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (2022). Mental Health and Physical Activity. Retrieved from https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/physical-activity
• Harvard Health Publishing. (2023). Feel-good hormones: How they affect your mind, mood, and body. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/feel-good-hormones-how-they-affect-your-mind-mood-and-body